Combat Conflict

Actually, Lieutenant David Kelley (Coast Guard) and Sergeant Paul Kelley (Army-Navy). Paul has left for Afghanistan. Although, we do view this as a more "Just" war than Iraq... We want Paul home with his new wife and son. A thousand thanks to our troops. Now let's end the wars and get on with creative living.

The following information was gathered by participating in a 2 hour webinar from "This Emotional Life" February 3, 2010.Brigaidier General Loree K. Sutton M.D. and Steve Robinson- Military Moderator. (Please scroll down to see read more about this team dedicated to returning soldiers.)

No matter what side one is on politically (or even those on the fence) one thing that the majority of us have in common is that we love and support our troops.

We may even disagree on the best ways in which to help or show our support however, it's important to always thank a soldier when you see him or her passing by.

(More coming soon. Please RSS or bookmark this page)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and our Returning Soldiers

What is PTS?

What is PTSD?

Symptoms persist more than 30 days.

It's a clinically diagnosed condition with effective treatment available.

DCOE Outreach Center:

www.dcoe.health.mil.

www.realwarriors.net

Phone: 1-866-966-1020

email: resources@dcoeoutreach.org.

www.pdhealth.mil

afterdeployment.org

sesamestreetfamilyconnections.org

militaryoneresource.com

Crisis Lifeline:

1-800-273-Talk


"A Veteran is someone who at one point in their life wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America', for an amount ' up to, and including their life'. That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country today, who no longer understand that fact!" Melody Lefeber

Misconceptions of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD.)

Every soldier that experiences combat will get PTSD.

Answer: No, this is not true.

Once your brain damaged that's it. You will never fully recover.

Answer: Wrong again. (more coming soon)

News Worthy News

Eric Greitens, founder of The Mission Continues, a nonprofit organization that helps wounded and disabled veterans begin careers as citizen leaders so they can continue their service to the nation here at home. Click the link below to see his live presentation.

Eric Greitens Live Presentation

The winds of war stir up remembrances of encounters on the edge of war...and ones tragically over the edge. Whether this current terrorist/military crisis is Known or simply known, the Stress Doc sets the scene and shares some stress survival tips, especially for those at home.

Who KNOWS War?

I have not KNOWN war; I have only known war.

I have not KNOWN the blaze of live machine gun fire pounding, screeching, whizzing overhead with mortar shells, the random blasts of crazed fun house terror. No time for the fireworks flaring, gazing in the blackest night above when you're eating dirt, crawling on all fours, cradling your baby M-16, mind numb save for the point 100 yards ahead that must be reached. But I have known it.

I have not KNOWN the fear of being smoke bombed and tear gassed in troop formation. Blinding smoky clouds, not knowing where the men in front, behind and to the sides have disappeared in a choking shroud of muffled coughs and cries and teary eyed. Paralysis, for an instant, before madly reaching for the protective mask. ("And remember, soldier, it's not a gas mask!") But I have known it.

I have not KNOWN the haunting, screaming, cold sweat post-traumatic nightmares of an Air Force Pilot so enraged and deadened by endless sorties of secret killing in the Vietnam jungle. Yet, inflicting terror and drugs is all he knows to stay alive. And still, ten years later, every night, he's condemned to replay the battle scene. I have not KNOWN this, but a client has.

I have not KNOWN the heroic highs and lifeless lows of the desperate fight to halt the surprise tank invasion of a Mid East enemy. Outnumbered ten to one. Somehow repulsing, somehow surviving despite the loss of most of your buddies in their finest hour. Nor the unspoken guilt for having done so. And this communal guilt only topped by the personal shame of the crash of a jeep you were driving while bleary eyed and bloodied: you survive and two mates die. I have not KNOWN this, but a client has.

Nor have I KNOWN the silent, anxious, weepy wait of a wandering wondering mother each day and night if "The Knock" will come. The knock at the dreaded door. The dreaded door no longer a protection against "The Visit"; against the lonely visitor declaring the end of a son's patriotic duty. I have not KNOWN this, but a friend has.

Nor have I KNOWN my childhood friend, a Hollywood handsome, athletic Adonis, back from Nam, a bloated shadow speaking gibberish until, tiring of his own impostor self on the streets of Flushing, his winning, flashing smile and innocent boyish spirit frolicking in a Killing Field. Not able to comprehend the division within; nor stand it...So jumps to his death to end the madness. But, this alas, I have known.

War is hell for all who KNOW it and it's damn stressful for those who just know it.

Setting The Stress and War Scene

America Online and Online Psych asked me to write my thoughts on stress in wartime, especially for those miles away from the battle zone. And yet, as we know, many may be caught up in "The Twilight Zone" of war...

Six months after moving to Washington, DC in the late summer of 1990, I led a workshop for a sizable agency of the Defense Department. Like today, seemingly irresistible preparations for war were ongoing. And the swirling tension of Desert Storm was both traditional and contemporary. For example, the woman in the audience heading overseas worried for the husband and child to be left behind.

Clearly, all involved in the workshop - no matter what their station - needed to share their fears and hopes, their sense of purpose and doubt. The waiting and the uncertainty not so unlike the dark downsizing rumor clouds that still periodically rumble and sweep through Washington agencies and companies: are pink slip restructuring and rightsizing missiles about to rain down and thin out the front lines?

Wartime Stress Survival Tips

So my inclusive mind proposes a proactive strategy gleaned, over the years, from fighting seemingly overwhelming stress on a variety of personal, professional and organizational fronts. Here are some Stress Doc survival tips and strategies:

1. Engage in Anticipatory Grieving. For some, this will entail active protesting or rallying, pro or con. For others, the expression of anger or anxiety needs to be private, prayerful and quiet. Whatever your mode of expression, know that you may be an emotional roller coaster racing through highs and lows of a war-charged grief cycle. Memories of previous loss - not necessarily war-related - may be stirred by our current crisis. This is not a logical experience but a psycho-logical one. And if, or when, you sense you need an ear, a shoulder, a hug, please...reach out. Or touch someone who does. And don't forget the kids. They, especially, need an adult pillar if not, also, a teddy bear, doll or pet to help manage separation stress and their runaway imagination.

2. Find Strength in Numbers. Whether it's a dear friend who lost her 20 year old daughter in a car crash or the disparate folks grappling with life who congregate weekly in my office, or the ones I encounter in cyberspace, on my AOL/Digital City-Washington "Shrink Rap and Group Chat," most people long for some group solace and support. Peers who are there or who have been there can truly be "Compassionate Friends." Despite wartime slogans and solidarity, KNOWING or, even, knowing the stress of war introduces us, even if only for a fleeting moment, to our absolutely indivisible, frightful, existential aloneness. Try not to run or hide, unless you must. Better to stand fast, then feel and share...or share and feel.

3. Adapt "The Four 'R's of Burnout Recovery. Activities that are meant to be restorative after the fact may be therapeutically applied in anticipation of the battlefront:

a. Running. Start a regimen of running, jogging, brisk walking, or endorphins pumping, jumping routine. It's not "runner's high" but a runner's calm that's biochemically induced. This chemical influx helps slow a racing mind and helps lift a sluggish mood. Also, aerobic exercise is great for grounding you when feeling vulnerable or when life feels uncertain and up in the air. There's a beginning and end point with a tangible sense of control and accomplishment.

b. Reading. In my darkest hours, I always return to reading humorous stories, for the sense of absurdity and for the endorphins. As the comedic genius, Charlie Chaplin, observed: The paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it's precisely the tragic which arouses the funny. We have to laugh due to our sense of helplessness in the face of natural forces (and in order) not to go crazy. Also, laughter has been likened to "inner jogging." Laughing with gusto is like turning your body into a big vibrator giving vital organs a brief but hardy internal massage.

c. Retreating. Now most associations to the word "retreat" in a military context are not so positive. However, for me the word means finding a refuge, a sanctum, a safe haven where one can tend to wounds, reflect on the current psychosocial upheavals and listen for our inner core, the emotional essence of who we are. Here one discovers or, at least, realizes the need for a higher power - a spiritual and communal connection with nature, humanity and/or the great mysterious beyond.

d. Writing. Especially in the void of wartime separation, writing (or recording a message) to loved ones becomes the vital bridge to heart and home. But writing also can be a source of self-discovery and a tool for keeping the faith. Journaling through angst and loss is a time-honored tradition. And contemporary research indicates that writing, especially when we take the time to express and analyze our emotions can help us hold on in a stormy sea of stress.

Hopefully, this war will be averted. And yet, any crisis, as the Chinese noted thousands of years ago, brings both danger and opportunity. So, I will close with words penned years ago during a double-edged turbulent period of my life: Whether the loss is a key person, a desired position or a powerful illusion, each deserves the respect of a mourning. The pit in the stomach the clenched fists and quivering jaw, the anguished sobs prove catalytic in time. In mystical fashion, like Spring upon Winter, the seeds of dissolution bear fruitful renewal.

With thoughts of grace and, as always...Practice Safe Stress!

Mark Gorkin, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, an international speaker and syndicated writer, is America Online's "Online Psychohumorist" ™ (Keyword Stress Doc or www.stressdoc.com.) For more info, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 202-232-8662. stressdoc.com

I watched BrothersatWarmovie.com a few nights ago and I have to say of every documentary I have ever watched about our military this one was one of the best I’ve seen. It is the story of Jake Rademacher whose two brothers are serving with the US Army in Iraq. From the moment this film starts I could clearly see how proud he is of both of them and also the desire to see what it was that they go through.

This documentary also shows the family side and what they go through when a loved one is deployed. One seen in the film when Jakes brother comes home from deployment and his young daughter doesn’t know who he his really pulls at your heart strings. I strongly recommend having a box of Kleenex near you when you watch this.

There are also some real funny moments in this film such as the scenes with the US ARMY advisers training the IRAQ troops and soldiers discussing The OC but for the two hours I watched this film it actually makes you feel like you are there (More so than picking up a copy of Call of Duty) this is not a Hollywood Movie, this is real. You get a glimpse inside look at what our men and women are doing over there and what their families go through at home.

I’ve seen many movies about war from all eras, and I’m not going to slam any of them, but the big difference is THIS is not a movie, this movie allows you to walk in the shoes of our heroes as we watch Jake take his cameras outside the wire. The biggest thing I notice is how proud these guys are to have him there, how they don’t treat him any different and take him on as if he was fresh out of army training. These men and women want their story told and this film did an amazing job of doing that.

I have been speaking with Jake Rademacher on Face Book and if you order the DVD off the Brothers at War site http://www.brothersatwarmovie.com/ and put in the code “thankasoldier’’ (NOTE : Code is entered on the order screen after you put in your shipping information) you will received 10% of the DVD. From this 10% off 1.00 from each sale will go to :

Operation Gratitude :http://www.opgratitude.com/

HerotoHero.us:http://www.herotohero.us/Home.html

If you order two DVDs the shipping is free.

You can view the trailer for this amazing story below:http://www.youtube.com/user/BrothersAtWar

""Brothers At War" was one of the hardest yet most healing movies I have ever watched. I had hoped it would give me insight to what my son had experienced in Iraq. I hoped it would tell me some of my son's war stories he never got to come home to share. I did not expect this film to also tell some of my story also. This film is about how war and deployments affect an entire family.I owe Jake Rademacher a debt of gratitude for making this film. I hope some day to thank him in person..."Angelia Phillips - Gold Star Mom

“Brothers at War celebrates the courage and integrity of the American Soldier and the American military family. It is also a film about a man's love and respect for his two brothers and his dedication to telling their story. A great film that I am proud to be a part of.”Gary Sinise, Actor, Presidential Citizens Medal Recipient

Synopsis:BrothersatWarmovie.com is an intimate portrait of an American family during a turbulent time. Jake Rademacher sets out to understand the experience, sacrifice, and motivation of his two brothers serving in Iraq. The film follows Jake’s exploits as he risks everything—including his life—to tell his brothers’ story. Often humorous, but sometimes downright lethal, BROTHERS AT WAR is a remarkable journey where Jake embeds with four combat units in Iraq. Unprecedented access to U.S. and Iraqi combat units take him behind the camouflage curtain with secretreconnaissance troops on the Syrian border, into sniper “Hide Sites” in the Sunni Triangle, through raging machine gun battles with the Iraqi Army. Ultimately, the film follows his brothers home where separations and life-threatening work ripple through their parents, siblings, wives and children. BROTHERS AT WAR provides a rare look at the bonds and service of our soldiers on the front lines and the profound effects their service has on the loved ones they leave "

Site: http://www.brothersatwarmovie.com/

Our Blog Write up: http://thankasoldier.wordpress.com/ Click Brothers At War Movie Link

Dave MurphyCause Creator

Cinematherapy


Becoming Your Own Coach

Based on Stephen Ambrose's best-seller, this Emmy-nominated miniseries profiles the men of Easy Company, the airborne infantry regiment that parachuted into France on D-Day, fought the Battle of the Bulge and captured Hitler's Eagle's Nest. Drawn from journals and letters -- and punctuated with interviews with veterans -- the drama underscores the extraordinary fear and unflagging bravery that made these soldiers heroes. (Netflix)

We haven't seen this yet but have it in our Netflix Queue.

Recommended by Sergeant Paul Kelley

Sergeant W. Paul Kelley's Book

We recently discovered this and had to share it. (reprinted with permission)

PBS' 'This Emotional Life': Paul Allen's Call For Emotional Health

A few years ago, I visited an Ivy League school to learn about recent discoveries in the fields of science and medicine. The most striking thing I heard wasn't about cutting-edge research, but about the state of mental health among students on campus: one in four took anti-depressants in order to function at school.

Even more troubling: if your son or daughter is in college in the United States, the chances are one in 10 that he or she will seriously consider suicide.

As I considered what a stumbling block emotional turmoil can be in the life of a promising young student, I realized we all know someone -- a family member, a friend, even ourselves -- who faces emotional challenges and needs help.

It's not always easy to find effective help. Part of the reason is that some of us look for a quick fix from the largely unregulated "get happy" industry. We are inundated by self-help books, films, shows, infomercials, seminars, and mega-events promising happiness in just three easy steps.

We are told to get in touch with our inner core, embrace a few "truths" and we'll be free of ills and insecurities. Think positive thoughts. Lose weight. Make money. Save money. Find love. Get married. Act young. Lose weight, again.

Research shows that no more than five percent of what's offered by the $10 billion-a-year for-profit self-help industry will work.

The good news, I learned in producing This Emotional Life, a three-part series that aired on PBS this week, is that effective, proven, help is out there. Science and research can put us on a more informed path to emotional health and well-being.

For two years we explored where our happiness comes from, what we can do to find more of it and how we can better cope with emotional issues.

The real-life stories in the series are powerful, honest and complex: Can an adopted child who spent years in an orphanage learn to form healthy attachments with others? Can newlyweds survive when "happily ever after" quickly turns to infidelity? How does a woman stricken with cancer, a young man confined to a wheelchair, or a prisoner of war find courage, fulfillment and a positive and complete emotional life?

Those compelling stories are combined with the latest scientific information in psychology and neuroscience and anecdotes from well-known musicians, actors and others. (If John McEnroe isn't an expert on anger, who is?)

In addition to the documentary, the project includes a website at with broad and substantive content about emotional health and related issues. There are blogs by a variety of experts, including writers, researchers and mental health professionals. There is a list of more than 2,500 resources with information from trusted sources such as the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration and the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You can also find other people in your area who are interested in getting together to talk about emotional health.

And if you missed the series during broadcast, you can watch full episodes at the website until January 20.

Through producing this project we learned that companionship is a basic need for human beings. Beyond the necessities of food, water, and shelter, a key to maintaining emotional and physical well-being -- from our first to our last breath -- resides in our ability to positively connect with people. The nature of our earliest relationships and experiences actually affects the way our brains grow.

One question scientists still hope to answer is whether there's a period of time where children must receive a certain kind of emotional input for their brains -- and, by extension, their social lives -- to develop normally. Regardless of the answer, parents and caregivers must recognize the long-term importance of forming a positive social and emotional environment for infants and children.

We also learned a great deal about fear, anxiety, anger and grief. These emotions can threaten relationships and cause us physical harm. Stress is linked to the six leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide.

Scientists are learning a great deal about the importance of individual resiliency in managing difficult situations and experiences. Recent studies of soldiers returning from war have been particularly enlightening as to the importance of this human quality to emotional health.

There are about 300,000 Iraq and Afghanistan military veterans suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. And up to 20 percent of those still in combat will return to their families with combat-related stress disorders, according to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.

The challenges facing military families and parents of infants are the two areas that I feel are most in need of deeper attention. Outreach programs have been launched and if you need help you can get information on the website.

In the last decade, researchers have learned about the mysteries of emotions and the forces that shape them. There are no magic fixes. But there is hope and help for those who take a thoughtful approach to a balanced emotional life. Looking for important answers is the first step. This Emotional Life tries to find those answers in the right places, which is the best step.

Philanthropist Paul Allen, co-founder of Microsoft, is the founder and chairman of Vulcan Productions, Inc., an independent film production company. This Emotional Life aired this week on PBS stations nationwide.